Miss candor here, Jaclyn “Speak-her-mind” Altmann, contradicted me when I told the bride at her wedding that she was happy to attend her bridal shower. She said outright: “it was so boring, I didn’t enjoy it.”
Well, it was a zoom party for a bride to be. Neither girl had ever attended a themed party, for a baby or a bride or even an actual birthday party for an adult except her family. Most social gatherings are boring for her. And yet we still drag her to church when church is in session.
What did I mean by the comment?
I was honored to attend and happy that the girls could join in, because the maid of honor, a 10 year old girl could attend as well. If I had said it’s a secret meeting it would have been so much more intriguing. Ivy did leave the moment the bride started opening her gifts. She got up and said: “I’m leaving to hang out with Daddy”. They came back a few times to see what else is going on;
Jackie navigates zoom better than me. We were muted because they talked constantly, but while present she applauded, made surprised faces, and shared hearts with the zoom options. So she was actually into it.
I asked her if, when she has her bridal should I could attend, and she said, “sure. If you’d like to come!”
Given how few experiences we’ve had this year, a zoom bridal shower is unique in itself. But Jackie, despite her presence of spirit, concluded that a zoom party is actually boring. And made me sound like an idiot affirming otherwise on their behalf.
Tact is a lesson that will be uncomfortably painful for her to learn. It doesn’t come natural. On the other hand, you know always where you stand with her. And for better or worse, her Daddy is pretty straightforward and doesn’t smooth talk just to make someone feel good. He is refreshingly blunt. Refreshingly* because he chooses his contexts and often times he rises above his own mood and says nothing if nothing is constructive enough to say. And I know this has been a purposeful learning journey for him a well.