Every time someone asks me “how are you?” and I answer “very well”, it always comes as a surprise.
This month I went swimming for 30-60 minutes nearly every day, and being intentional about it, took some creativity in navigating the schedule.
I recently had the best conversation with my brother. He seemed to have matured so much. I felt heard, seen and listened, though I spoke very little about myself. It was just a deep, underneath the surface, clear sense I got.
It has been a confusing season but I’ve been praying to let go and understand, and for God to keep at bay the spirit of discord which occasionally sneaks in unexpectedly and uninvited. God shed light over eight years of little and big things, and it felt like a fresh rain. To have this unexpected gift of freedom in my lifetime… I’m in awe.
I also reached the conclusion that the recent tension was never about me.
I’ve been steadily studying the Psalms. It’s a long journey, and I get impatient, feeling like I’ll never truly know it all. But I remember my schooling journey …taking one literal lesson at a time. It took practice to focus just on the next chapter – it was such good longterm practice.
I’m not a blogger, and I want to become a better storyteller. But I’ve always enjoyed writing poetry. It can be cryptic and evasive, but the one wonderful thing about poetry is that you can’t lie in it. Most of the time I feel like I have nothing to say. I’m an introvert who rarely has words worthy of sharing. But here is my most recent psalm. You have to study the original to understand some of the outrageous imagery…
My Psalm 5
I let the prayer sync in
for a long while
bringing it to God
not knowing what to pray for
just bringing my heart as an offering.
As the fog lifted,
my mind was at peace
and my heart of filled with You.
I just prayed
that you God would cast away
the spirit of quarrel, of conflict, of discord
passed on
from generation to generation.
Then at a moment’s notice
You changed the story.
To discover that it was never about me.
Letting go,
made the bubble burst of it’s own.
My King and My God
you bring justice
the evil can’t sit in your presence.
You hate the deceit and the lies
and those who dwell in lies
they trip over their own malice.
their throat is like an open grave
threatening to swallow
more than their fair share.
Let the sin trip in its own sweetened trap
and close the gap.
Let them fall but then redeem their souls.
To see justice in our own time
to understand and to be set free!
We were already free.
Those who trust in You will rejoice
Redeem my brother’s life and soul
Redeem my sister’s heart,
for your glory and kingdom.
And in all this, protect us in Your Faithful Love.