Almost every night we struggle with putting her to bed. I dread her tantrums. Or the pouting, or whining, or the million questions and requests after we closed the deal (read all the stories, rub the feet, sing the songs, pray, chat a little longer…)
We’ve had the conversation of “why do you ruin a perfectly good day?” Or “please don’t ruin the day!”
I inevitably raise my voice. Then I feel guilty about it. We always make up and end on a good note, but it’s exhausting. I don’t say things I regret (never did …yet) but I’ve been waiting for a turning point. Will something click? What would it take to change for the better?
Then I read this book about “the power of the present”. After reading another one “parenting with presence”.
Last night after giving in to all her wishes and requests, she pouted and said “I’m sad. I don’t want to go to bed.” Then she lays over the side of my bed like a soft noodle hard to pick up and put back into the pot or on the plate.
Sure enough I raised my voice saying that I’m tired of her tantrums and evening show. Upon thinking on it I went in and made up. I told her I don’t want to end the day with a show, and I don’t like to raise my voice.
Tonight daddy put her to bed. After another perfect day here she goes again “I’m sad” (pout and stubborn chin in chest). Both conrad and I kept both our cool and warmth at the same time. I said “it’s your choice to be sad”. She thought about it. I explained to her that simmering or dwelling in sadness is not good long term. But it’s her choice and not my problem. Sleep is good and healthy for growing kids.
After a few good days she said “I miss complaining about going to bed”. Is this a game for kids? The other day when I asked her why is she ruining the nights she said: “I know how to fix it. I’ll go to bed with no more drama”. And sure enough she did. Sweetly so.