Daddy took over the “putting to bed” duties. Because he is so good at it, with his soothing voice, reassurance, weird new songs.
It’s a gift! I take it! She still doesn’t want to go for walks with just daddy and Rufus. I haven’t had the house to myself since Jaclyn. But at least it’s no trouble if I go out alone.
We’ve been tested and stretched. I admit I’ve been frustrated, annoyed, on edge. I have raised my voice or I have withdrawn, and I must say that my withdrawal has invited more dramatic reactions from her than anything else. It is so obvious when she feels disconnected. And she lets us know with tantrums and disagreeing. Kids smell honesty (or covered up frustration) from miles away. Taking ourselves lightly is a must. Being on the same page parenting, day in and day out, with my husband, whom with I thought we have reached the ultimate union of mind and heart, is an ongoing challenge as it turns out. It is humbling. It is demanding. It requires forethought and patience. I see clearly why it is important for spouses to take time to strengthen their marriage and build trust, before kids come.
We’ve had our highest highs and the lowest lows together, so this is definitely a trying time, but we can see it and process it rationally.
We have had a delightful family dinner. Kids played, food was enjoyed, good conversations took place. Jaclyn felt jolly and visibly comfortable with the positivity around the house and the table. Her cousin was a perfect 7 year old host to his little cousin.
What a gift of peace is this winter. We’ve had winters of deep sadness and hopelessness – This season is such a gift!
