Mops together: A year ago I joined this band of women. And it has been a wild ride. I had a front row seat to amazing events, transformations, decorations and acts of service. I joined to translate materials. The productions they out together are out of this world. Incredible details, generosity of heart and abundance of cohesive creativity. I always feel so small and in awe. I want to learn to do the same but it’s exhausting always trying to stretch my skill set and feel like I fall short of the bare minimum. I need to be told what to do when it comes to decorations and gifts.

But I can pray. I can speak. And I pray I can show up. On time. Willing and able.

When we are showered with thanks and gratitude for the treats that make every guest feel special, I have a hard time accepting the praise. I didn’t do much to make it happen.

The week leading up to this event was the most overwhelming this year. Competing events, kids activities, guests, speaking engagements, planning a summit, international zoom meeting, recording videos, hosting new friends for bbq at wits end. The hardest last was Friday night, driving through traffic to reach a conference where Conrad and I lead a talk. I got home very late. I put the girls to bed. Conrad stayed in town for a sci-fi book club and got home even later. Next morning super early we woke up to go over and be part of the welcoming committee. I left there with a headache and with a scratchy voice. I talked a lot, I translated for a woman from Nigeria, I cleaned up the place and helped gather the decorations. Meanwhile we also made plans for the Arfo summit in two weeks.

On this Sunday I felt so deserving of rest. Sleeping in was heavenly. Conrad woke up with a headache for sleeping too much. Ivy woke me up a few times during the night. She had bad dreams. I am so glad tomorrow the girls don’t go to school. May we rest these days. Soon we’ll host a mops for adoptive moms. Maybe in December. Since in November we do the summit.

Yesterday was mom’s birthday. Tomorrow is Livia’s birthday. I’m glad Jackie’s birthday is behind us. Not a week ago we had cake and candles and people over.

I am tired beyond words. But I have been holding on to joy. I can’t lose my joy for the little things, for life, for God’s presence. This specific decision has actually helped. I allow myself to get giddy with anticipation for the things that used to make me happy. It’s a long lost art for adults. I’m regaining it. I feel as if I’m getting a grip on the old and simple ways of being happy. Sleep is east. Joy once lost is harder to regain.