Does He really care about my small wishes, heart desires, hopes and dreams? 

I’ve always been under the impression that He does indeed. I look Him in the eyes of her heart and he gazes into my heart and delights in me. My problems are not too insignificant for Him. Everything that happens to me, He is fully aware of and in control.

As a parent, even with a lower level of mushy empathy, I can relate to that. I care about every small detail and heart desire of my kids. And I strive to give them good gifts, even when they seem frivolous, without any eternal impact. It is for the pure joy of the moment, of this life that we were gifted with. How much more would God who created said life, would he give us good gifts for the pure delight of the present. 

I don’t know if I speak heresy here, but my heart doesn’t convict me on this matter. 

We decided to buy a house. Our funds are carefully calculated and as it turns out limited at this point. I’m the budgeting type, and I like to plan well our expenses. There are a few unknown factors in the near financial future. A handful of stock I still need to sell to make up for the last payment. We borrowed money for this year. And we’ve been generous with our spending to finish the house so far. As in: We bought what was necessary and nice within reason. For the house, of course. 

As I tread lightly, my heart tends to worry and I draw near my Father to rest my weary budgeting head. Does he really care about my budget. About our finances and economic stability? 

Are my prayers too daring, too wild, too hopeful? 

I cry out of stress and pray he orchestrates every detail, beyond my scope of vision and clarity. I do my part the best I can. So far so good with employing the gifts he has given me. Other than that, I rest my weary head, and humbly take cover under his wing. 

I plead with him to make things happen as I envision them. But I hold my desires lightly. My understanding of God puts my mind at ease the moment I face Him directly. What can I tell Him that he doesn’t already know, that he hasn’t already considered? Whatever the path, as long as we’re with Him, it will all be ok.