From invisible and underestimated
Stepping into the light
Being visible
burdened with expectations
I learn to live
With purpose
Quiet and clear
Humble and bold.
I grew up singing Traian dorz poems
My theological foundation
Music has the power to activate parts of the brain that nothing else could
My crossroads prayers had words borrowed from dorz and he based his poems in scripture and suffering
His poems did not have much poetic value and diversity according to my literature teachers
My poems were also cheesy
Using metaphors that seemed far removed from my life experience
But Traian dorz poetry through its prison and oppression epithets and metaphors
Gave voice to my inner turmoil.
How freeing for a teenager to name the shackles the loneliness the pain
The longing and the sweet companionship of Jesus when feeling crushed
May I never let you go…
I’m searching for you Jesus…
From the broths I cry out to you…
He was the psalmist of our time
The broken man who loves Jesus so deeply that redeemed his live a thousand times over
His songs still echo in my heart
They provide light guidance purpose soothing truth
Church lasted three hours every gathering at least
I dreaded church as a teenagers because as a girls I had to wear a long unbecoming skirt and a head covering
My friends were going to disco
And I went to church
But I filled my mind with truth and poetry written in shackles to gain freedom
I embraced my lolly status
And from it my soul soared
Trying to save my kids from discomfort I maim their soul
May his save me from this madness
May I point their eyes to Jesus
With warmth and boundaries
With nurture and structure
May answer his calling
And be true to mine
May I never run away
From the burden of being appreciated
known and seen
Invisibility is comfortably familiar
I could pull up my sleeves and do the work
But not with expectations and applause
They are my Achilles heel
Eyes on Jesus
Heart filled with Him
