How easy it is for the self-importance car to take a wrong turn. Here we are, driving the proper way, switching only occasionally to course correct. But mostly going in the right direction. Even when I worried, I sensed God’s delight in our obedience despite the imediate results.
These days of over confidence boost, riding high after a long conference of friendship and validation, of growth and approval, my daughters are steady standing taller. And it’s a beautiful sight. But how easily do we fall pray to pride. They get cocky. Talk more. Talk about themselves. Overshare and easily slip into gossip. A good conversation can easily turn sour with a kid who gets carried away. And it is now that my heart feels heavier than in the hard defiant seasons. I worry we can miss the mark being fooled by worldly prays and achievements. Humility is not thinking less of ourselves but thinking of ourselves less. That is tricky for a preteen who starts to discover and define who they are. Jackie was praying the other day thanking God for helping her recognize her own beauty. I smiled hearing her say that. How delightful. But from there the leap is short into pride and fall and a sense of emptiness.
I can’t and won’t save my kids from the disappointment and heartbreak of a fallen world. I want to point them to Jesus. Maybe they already do and that is why they seem so well adjusted. I’m excited to see them both become stronger, curious about god, pursuing him in earnest. It is then I can take a step further back in confidence. They are following the path God called them to walk. So I continue to pray in faith. With confidence, not with anxiety.