I believe my capacity is quite limited. But then, as I count my friends, I find I have too many.
In different stages, we’ve expanded our social groups. As our friends also outgrown their stage in life, everyone gently moved away, like icebergs drifting, but not with sadness or disappointment but with ease and serenity.
My capacity is small. But my friends, my best friends are people who share the same values and desire to serve and focus on community as givers.
Take these women I admire and I identify with. Each in our own community, we forge similar paths, in our own way, with our own gifts. If you would ask me quickly (as Jackie did as she is worked up about the topic) who is my best friend (other than my spouse) I wouldn’t be able to limit the answer to one person. And a best friend in my 40s is very different than my best friends in high school.
We don’t call each other up daily, we don’t chat incessantly, we don’t giggle, but when we connect we feel seen, heard, inspired, encouraged.
I take comfort in looking at these daughters of ours, entering the teen years, who have not yet defined their click, and maybe that’s a good thing. There is room for friends around them. They share our outlook on life, serving others and sometimes, maybe even often, experiencing loneliness because we are the ones who always initiate, or facilitate or host. I am blessed to have friends who invite me into their lives and world. Who ask for my help (which is a biggest lesson to learn – you become vulnerable not when you constantly give, but when you ask as well). These women who happen to have daughters around my daughters age, i would call my best friends because we live our lives shoulder to shoulder, without any expectations.