We had a great summer. A pretty fantastic year actually. After the few hard decisions of deleting WhatsApp on Jackie’s phone, and taking a break from school drama, we relished in the peace of distance.
After school started, Jackie asked if she can have WhatsApp re-installed. She said she will respect its time limit and be able to communicate as needed with her colleagues. She won’t go into the class wide group, where too many messages were historically sent without common sense of time, volume or rambling inclination.
Despite her commitment to time limits, This week she averaged 2 hours a day in the afternoon on WhatsApp. Getting pulled into gossip and chatting with AI. Mostly nonsense – she said she is testing how smart / stupid it is. But AI tried to be so nice and smooth. It creeped me out reading the conversation. It reminded me of the chat rooms that we got on during IT class in high-school. It could have been so dangerous. Some of my colleagues went and met in person strangers they met in chat rooms.
Anyway, this is first strike. When it’s too quiet in the house nothing good happens. Even with her volunteered promise that she won’t engage with chat gpt and have a limit, the nonesense conversations cut into her study time. I’m one day away from canceling her WhatsApp. She is barely 12. She thinks she has good judgement and restraint, but who are we kidding. I ended up deleting instagram from my phone. Just to support her in this boundary setting. Feel the pain with empathy.
It’s a 6th sense I get. This uneasiness that makes my senses alert. And I pay attention.
I woke up at night and my spirit calmed. I prayed for discernment and I gave thanks for this trial & error.
The kids access to smart phone makes me feel like I’m losing my bearings, my direction, my control. It’s not the phone per se. She had an iPhone for half her life. It’s the social media that captivates, twists, draws and changes.
Testing the boundaries and pulling back with grace is our hope. I had a great discussion with her in the morning. I think she had the ability to see what I saw. Getting carried away in chats, not keeping her promise about how long she would spend. We talked about smooth danger, and inevitably I brought up the proverbs & the psalms. I keep telling her it’s not my word. it’s what kept me safe and sane, and she can read for herself. She doesn’t have to take my word for it. Today I saw her Bible on the coffee table. I was just thinking about how would one inspire their kids to drink the same fresh water they did in their childhood. I don’t want to nag. I find creative opportunities to bring it up when she is most alert and attuned to my voice.
Pride comes before the fall. If I felt good about myself at the end of summer, the beginning of the school year really rattled me, and humbled and scared me. How easy we can lose our peace and our footing.
It is not me. It is all grace and God’s providence. We may not see eye to eye in the future. Or maybe we are bracing for the storm and god will grace us with a clear mind and empathy.