That Elephant

Vio talks about the sharing she did last Sunday, but doesn’t really convey the gravity of the situation. The church we go to has what they call “Body Life”, where people in the congregation volunteer to stand up and share with the rest of the people what is going on in their lives and what they need prayer for. However, occasionally, the pastor calls on people who he knows needs to share their needs, whether they may or may not be inclined to do.

This was one such situation. We had just had dinner with Brian—the pastor—a few nights before, and talked at length about how we were doing and where we would like to be going. So naturally, he called on Vio to share. (mind you, I teach Sunday School to two and three year-olds during the service, so I wasn’t there).

Enough of the prefacing though. Vio and I have always wanted to have children. In fact, that desire came up very early-on in our relationship as something we were both looking forward to. After about five years of not getting pregnant though, we decided to go in for fertility testing. Vio came back in perfect health, but I was called back in to discuss my results. It turns out that I was in a fairly progressed stage of cancer, and the doctor told me that I needed to be scheduled for an operation within the next week.

Obviously, this was a blow for both of us. Needless to say, this type of cancer is one that affects male fertility, and I was devastated. I had always assumed that I would have children, become a father, and carry on the family name if I were granted a son. But at that point, all I could think of was how Vio would react to the news.

I could not have been more blessed with a more supportive and loving wife than I was when I married Vio. She was affected as I knew she would be at the news, but she neither coddled me nor pushed me away in the coming weeks and months. She and I progressed through the operation the recovery and the treatments as I could never have hoped for. She was and is always someone I can lean on and count on to understand and just be with me.


This all happened nearly two years ago now, and I am as healed as I will be. We’ve moved on physically and emotionally, and have only grown closer together from it all.

Adoption was never something I had personally considered before it all, but in the past year-and-a-half, Vio and I have grown accustomed to the idea of it, and feel that we can be just as loving parents to a child in need as we could to our own biological child. It’s not a decision that we take lightly, and I have had much internal turmoil about it, but I’ve always believed that there are to be children in my life and if this is the way I am called to support a child, so be it. If God has another plan for us, then I will make the most of being an Uncle, a Godfather and someday, maybe a teacher.

That was really the big news to come out the other Sunday at church. Vio shared about how we’re planning on traveling back to Cluj to be close to family and friends and to buy an apartment to begin putting roots down. We’re both relatively introverted—despite how some perceive us—and we tend to keep things close to the chest, but Vio sharing all of this that day really opened a window and I’ve been thankful for the show of support from the people around us.

I’m incredibly proud of Vio for not running away the moment she was “called on”. She is one of the strongest people I know and I fall more in love with her every day.