I find Jackie fascinating when I don’t try to control her behavior. She has a mind of her own, and she trusts her gut, she is confident, and usually right in social circumstances, albeit she is just a toddler. She asks for permission, she goes and knocks, visits and delights in her hosts, accepts anything graciously and declines what she does’t want, without a trace of embarrassment.
It is funny …because I should be the one following her suit. I am responsible to teach her some things. I had to tell her the other day that we can’t visit Sofi’s house a third day in a row. It’s not polite. “Why?” 🙂
We have visited every neighbor over the course of this week, some more than once. She goes up to our little neighbors and asks to play with them. “I came up for a short visit. Is Tudor available to play?” Or “Is Mara at home and awake?” “Mommy, you stay home. I go visit Georgiana or Dana by myself” She may sense my discomfort 🙂 I don’t like to impose on others, and I dread the idea of becoming a clueless burden. And the more I think about it I realize I don’t want to pass on to her my social dread. I want her to find her way. And be herself. Not me.
Kids find their balance of safety, of motivation, of socializing …without us parents over-controling and hovering. It’s exhausting and more than that… harmful.