Second mothers

I started a support group online, a bookclub for adoptive mothers, and we’ll meet 7 times and follow the guide available in the book released by Jody Tucker.

We met once and it was grand. Encouraging, natural, inspiring.

As the year draws to a close, Evelyn is coming into her own and it’s delightful to watch. No mater how hard we try to make the attachment more successful or evident, the key ingredient is time. Give ourselves time. Give the relationship time. And enjoy the ride. As Ivy settles in and is more outspoken, her attachment is simultaneous with her age development and when we discover her insightful conversations over legos ply time or dinner, we are in awe. So time. Time is a key ingredient. And delight in who they are. It’s learned skill, practiced… at times we need to keep our eyes on the goal, even (and especially when) we don’t see immediate results.

Jaclyn got her first iPhone as a gift for Christmas. It’s parental control outfitted. There is no browser. The Apple ID is dependent on our parental control. She is learning to text with the grandparents and is taking some language classes. For Half a year we’ve debated if and how we should go bout this next step. Right now we have control and leverage. And the conversations about iPhone etiquette, texting, strangers, dangers and self regulation… so far it’s been a good journey. The phone stayed idle most of the time. Our kids are growing up fast and the biggest challenge so far has been Ivy who keep discussing her fast growing up and how she’ll have an iPhone when she is 7.

We’ve entered into the clause of use the boundaries, privilege and limitations. Our saving grace is that she has learned to self regulate and listen when we say it’s tie to put the device down, after using the iPad for a few years now. Our hope is to grow together in our technology use as a family, as we’ve done so far.