I didn’t even realize how much Jaclyn and I had merged together, until she started spending large chunks of time away from me.
I pay attention to every word, every child play, role play, saying, reactions to address and meet her mind and heart wherever it might be, and I think I’ll never stop doing that. After over a week of kindergarten I realize how much we’ve poured into her at home, answering questions, singing, drawing, playing, encouraging her independence. I don’t know what I was expecting from this first week in kindergarten, new words, songs, habits, reactions …she doesn’t like to tell me anything if I ask her directly, but kindergarten stories emerge unprompted.
Not much has changed… she just sleeps deeper at night, more soundly. She comes home full of energy, multiplied energy it seems. Oh, she is such an extrovert!
She seemed disconnected the first few days. Like it took us a while to click after school. I believe I felt guilty for she was away from home for many hours, while we worked hard catching up with stuff. It’s not like we built up energy for her return. I bet her little heart wondered if that was the new reality, the new routine …but the weekend came along and we had FUN. The second week at kindergarten, as we didn’t linger for her to sob during the drop-off, acknowledged her emotions, hugged and encouraged her with confidence that she will have a good day, invited her to give us hugs and kisses, she would walk to her classroom, knock hard, open the door and enter decisively.
I think giving her a steady term of comparison, subconsciously she started appreciating home and us. She is suddenly more mature, if that was even possible.