It’s mid January. After three weeks of freezing temperatures, today got warmer and it rained. Today we started kindergarten too, after three weeks of vacation.
We’ve been preparing our hearts for quite some time to have this adoption reunion in the complete formula. We celebrate family. In a word of “different”, it is incomparable to celebrate familiarity amongst adoptive families.
Our kids have crossed paths once (some twice), and they didn’t play much together. It was too busy, too much, to hectic. But today, it was special. They escaped the winter attire to run on the indoor playground like little puppies in the green field, like fish in a fresh pond.
And we, the parents got to catch up. So much to talk about, with shared joy and belief and awe. With these strangers, at some point all we had in common was infertility and sorrow, which didn’t bring us together. Now we all beam with delight and gratitude.
For most of us it’s been on average two years of parenting. Just enough to give us a sense of what we’re dealing with. Some with rougher starts, others with intermediary rougher patches, or like us, with the ache of waiting mixed with anticipation and hope. We are all nearly done with the post adoption monitoring. But these kids stand as undeniable proof of miracles in progress, of healing on all sides.
Take nine families with broken hearts, mix with twelve vulnerable kids, and after layers of trips, of going through the proper channels, official documents and reports, visits and buckets of tears, you get a room full of delight.
Adoption is always surprising. I did not expect it to have such a beautiful face. Such joy. Such exuberance. These children are well loved, and these parents are well blessed. And I count myself honored to be among them.
We got to see and get nostalgic about the baby that spent her first months with Jackie in the same foster family. She has a new name and an older brother. She is well behaved and loves her fruit, just like our J. And while I loved seeing her beautiful face, I remembered I ushered a silent prayer for her future. And I now am witnessing her forever family. What a glorious answer to my heart’s prayer. She is well. She is where she is ought to be. Perfectly integrated and well loved.
I’m glad I got to get some insight on a topic I keep lightly. I take everything with a grain of salt. It tastes better that way. But why am I so cautious? maybe because the answers are always half whispered and I am never certain if I should know, how much, when… Three main ideas emerged about Jackie’s little sister. Things seem hung up. Her file is not yet with the adoption team. I didn’t expect it to be yet… but then my heart took a leap further back and I had to ask. Is she stuck in the beginning, as in the emergency rescue housing? That would be torturous in my mind. We pray for her every day. I say this as a matter of fact, because God will open the doors for us only at the right time. Not a minute earlier. Not a minute later. And as we pray that she is well taken care of, I get this feeling that right now she is. I have been at peace for a while. I understood with as much certainty as one can, given the circumstances, that she is in foster care. Praying for a healthy situation there as well. An issue that was raised was something that we wrestled with a lot in the beginning. What if we get called for another, before little sister is ready to be adopted. Honestly, we put it on God’s pile of decisions for us; meanwhile we pray for a wise and awake heart.
Our stories are about redemption. Today. Not in twenty years. Not at the birth of these children. Not in our old age. What a gift to know and feel the present. No guilt. No shame. No fear. No false expectations. I mention these because I know their allure. Personally. It takes practice and it takes community, to overcome and to let go.
Dear post adoption group, what a delight and a pleasure it has been to share 2018 with you. Sharing adoption with you has made us better parents. Let the climb for higher grounds continue.
