We hurried through the exodus traffic to get out of Cluj, on a Friday afternoon, anticipating the cold mountain air. And the silence of autumn.
Each brought a small luggage, and all five of us piled into a car. Thus we began our chatting to reconnect and tell stories about life and the kids’ extracurricular activities. I was quiet for a while until one of the moms asked “how are your kids?”. What a beautiful invitation to join in.
On such outings, we always learn something new about life before kids, about adventures in youth camps and our adaptability to discomfort.
Inevitably there is hearty laughter in this group. What therapy!
When I got home Sunday night my daughters asked me what I did over the weekend. Difficult to sum up the richness of such a weekend in one sentence.
We learned new things, made decisions, planned conferences, shared, laughed and cried. We were served. We ate fruit, sweets and puffs, we did self-knowledge tests, skits, and it was as if every word shared was meaningful, and we didn’t chatter in vain.
Without planning, even the discussions during meals were like a devotional, and we encouraged each other in our walk as women, as mothers and as wives, but above all as daughters of an extraordinary God, a good, generous and loving Father.
As official MomCo volunteer leaders, over the past few years we’ve gone through some training materials together and separately. We have similar starting points but also the same mission.
Although we are diverse, we each contribute our own unique gifts. And in our uniqueness, the sense of belonging is a gift and a miracle.
We reflected with eyes wide open on our vision and mission in this ministry. We dreamed boldly. We verbalized how we want to be seen, and what message we send through our community. In the first evening, the conversations were guided by a specific book about teamwork, proposed by one of the leaders. Each of us summarized a chapter. Like a book club.
We also talked about values. Teams that have common and clear values stick together. Although we discussed at length about relay races, what passing on the baton means, and how we can help other leaders grow.
Values serve as a compass, magnet, foundation, guide, ruler, etc. But in order to have their desired effect, they must first be defined, practiced and affirmed in public for us all to embrace them.
Values are standards or principles of behavior.
I think as we listed them, each contributing ideas, we ended up with over 20. Of course we can’t put them all on the same level, at the same time, or mention them daily.
A few of them stood out and distilled over the weekend. We referenced them often as a starting point in deep or vulnerable conversations.
The first value I proposed was open communication. We value direct communication, we listen with openness and curiosity. We dare to speak frankly with the willingness to share in time about situations that we see that require improvement or change.
Second: Self-care: soul, mind, body. By taking care of ourselves as leaders, we give permission to those around us to take care of themselves. We are an example. At the same time we can take care of those entrusted to us without resentment or perpetual fatigue.
The third was excellence/competence. Everything we do should be done to high standards, as for the Lord.
One of them was humility, and all weekend we laughed at this essential value. Just because humility, by definition, is lived is not discussed. However, it is good to note that Philippians 2:3-4 says “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
MomCo is an international brand, respected and admired. And we are just a handful of women who put themselves in God’s service for a while. Now is the right time to sow, and perhaps many fruits will be gathered in their right time, even if we will not know.
Vulnerability and authenticity went hand in hand with the first value, and this weekend I fully felt the unplanned freedom to be honest to the point of tears. How liberating, what a feeling of rest between friends and sisters.
We are united by a spirit of peace and love for Jesus and for our fellow moms. We listen to each other reverently and get to know each other with a cascade of humor and fun.
We are part of so many and diverse communities. And when we bring our authentic selves to every relationship, we don’t erase any of who we are in other contexts. We love our children and spouses, we love Christ, and we love our diverse girlfriends from all backgrounds. I think our big challenge is that we stretch too much in all directions, because we give with joy, and at the same time we receive. We are human, however, and priorities enter into all kinds of competitions. But here we come again to the second value of self-care.
We started our meetings with one of the mothers sharing how connection brings healing. And ended with the same vision, telling about the Psalms.
You might think we are so spiritual. From this point of view, we do not fit into a template. We love Christ. Period. We value integrity and character, preserve confidentiality, promote hospitality through our events, not through what we serve but through the way we connect with those who cross our threshold. We want to be known for authenticity and unity, and we want to serve with all our hearts, each with her own gift.
As I write about this wonderful group, I worry it may sound like showing off. We all have different gifts and there is a place at the table for every mother, to step into the light, to enter or start such a community for mothers, to be light and salt together. Alone is hard. Take a friend with you. Take the first step. Dare and share your heart.
We learn together. We grow together. And we inspire each other.
