And when people pine for times they haven’t lived through is dangerous.
Why did people abandon their children 20-30-40 even 50 years ago in Romania? Misguidance and poverty. And then medical reasons. Parents who struggled to put food on the table would give up some of their many children to the state. I don’t know where our country borrowed this solution but they hadn’t thought it through. And mothers would be persuaded that it is in their children’s best interest. Though a mother’s instinct would know best. My own grandmother had someone from the state pay her a visit when my mom and the youngest brother were Little and was asked to give them two youngest up to The orphanage. My grandmother was widowed in the mid 30s with 5 kids. She was adamant that she would not give up any of her children. Where 4 can eat, 2 more mouths have enough room. The guys going around persuading parents to give up children did their job without knowing what happens next. As it turns out it was a death sentence for the children given up. A torturous life.
Romania has made peace and tried to make it right. After some horror stories surfaced and the orphanage situation was exposed, they went into tHe extreme and opened the adoption to any and all without any checks and balance. Then again it bounced into the other extreme of closing all international adoptions after tens of thousands of kids were given away but some ended on very bad circumstances, and that again exposing the blindside.
Then romania got to work and cleaned up house in the most thorough way. And visible progress continues to be made year to year.
It is puzzling that educated intelligent people still jump to conclusion. Globalization does not apply to specific laws of each country, and one ought to read up and abide said laws. I myself was lured to think that the way open adoption functions in us could possibly be applied in Romania. False. And I’m glad the social workers gave us the time of day to clearing things for us. To understand why.
We have heard that daily/weekly children are abandoned in hospitals right after birth. This is true but it’s only A small percentage of the number of children in need of a safe forever family. There are 40+ reasons for which children are avavdomed, reasons we’ve discovered brainstorming with potential adoptive families at one of our classes.
Poverty used to be the main reason for abandonment. Without an authority and trained guidance in the process for adoption things can easily get out of control. Mothers or fathers could and would be easily persuaded to give their children to strangers in exchange for very little money sometime. See how human trafficking can take root in an apparently charitable act? On the flip side then misguided parents become victims of extortion. Eastern Europe is notorious for the land of infinite human trafficking resources. Things are changing slowly, but old habits die hard.
I see adoption in romania as a well developed infrastructure today. There is a clear path. One path. Through the state. But the road is paved, the checkpoints are transparent, the milestones clear. And it’s a freeway, not a toll road. To this day there are people who look at the map and say: “but I could reach my destination if I cut across through the field.” That’s never a guarantee. That you will get there on time, without bruises or at all. And when a vulnerable human life is involved, are you sure you want to do anything shady? Keeping your hands clean is paramount in raising a child though adoption, with confidence, courage and a light conscience.
I posted this on Facebook when i realized how basic information about adoption is foreign knowledge for the majority of my friends.
To adopt a child in Romania, you need to be certified as an adoptive parent. There are no shortcuts, side doors or preferential treatment. It takes 90 days for the attestation process that includes assessments and courses. It is a very encouraging process because you learn a lot and connect with beautiful people who adopt or guide adoptive families.
Adoption in Romania costs nothing. Small expenses are with notarial statements, medical assessments and travel expenses. We have been told from the head that nowhere will money be claimed. And so it was.
DGASPC is the body that coordinates adoption in each county and their motto is that they are looking for parents for children, not searching children for parents.
All these facilities are offered only to Romanian citizens. To adopt a child from Romania, at least one of the spouses must be Romanian.
To my delight, hundreds of children are adopted yearly by Romanian couples. They just don’t talk about it with any and all. The reason being that: Discretion, respect of privacy, common sense are not all broadly spread.
The joy and gratitude expressed by each of these parents, the love and celebration, are pure blessing.
I cringe slightly when people call adoption a nobil gesture… the adoptive parents don’t see it as such. We see adoption as a miraculous gift. To us first and foremost.
Leave a Reply