“I want to sleep in your big bed!”

All of a sudden, after spending a full exciting weekend together, she decides that the bucket is not full quite yet. On the contrary.

Sunday night, because I was sick, daddy stayed with her in her new big bed… she couldn’t fall asleep for a long time. In the morning she came up and snuggled with me and slept deeply. I could feel her body relaxing, her breathing deep and satisfying. Resting.

Monday night, the night before the big day of signing the final paper for her adoption, we negotiated. She ended up sleeping next to me all night, after two months of not co-sleeping.

She wanted me to go to bed at the same time with her. She got weepy. She didn’t want to be alone. She was afraid that she will wake up in her own bed, and the point was to sleep next to us. I told her to say a prayer and soon after I’ll come up and sleep with her in my arms. Her eyes got wide with joy. “I’ll sleep in your arms? ok!” She said a quick prayer looked down at me from the loft and said: “NOW you come up to hold me in your arms?”. I said in a few minutes. Let your body settle a bit so you don’t wiggle so much when we both try to fall asleep.

After a few minutes, as we went to bed and took her in my arms she snuggled under my chin and sat like that and said: “I’m sleeping in your arms, mommy!”
Needless to say, we didn’t sleep much towards the morning. She got restless and tossed and turned, touched our faces with her little hands, burrowed herself in my lap, put her arms around my neck, snuggled and asked me to caress her feet and her hands. [“why do you caress my arms?” and she answers her own question: “because you love me”]

It was delightful and sleep interrupted for me. But my little girl is getting the snuggles and the physical touch she so needs and soaks it all up like a sponge.

I felt guilty for not letting her come up the first night, but I was a sniffling aching mess. So we evaluate, and do better the next time. And she pulls away when her cup is full. And goes out and explores with courage and independence. That in itself is a gift. She can express her needs as well as her fulfillment.