Out of fearful brain, I easily forget to do this or that. I interrupt my own train of thought to do something that crosses my mind. I got to accomplish lots this way. I was so efficient. But my short term memory, treaded with fear, it started to fail me. Seriously fail me. I would get up to do something and the moment I stood up I couldn’t remeber why. I was like an old person who lost it completely. And this started to happened every day. I knew my brain was stretched beyond its flexibility, and my ind was overloaded. I carried too much, I had too many things on my plate, I worried too much for everything and everyone. But this forgetfulness mixed with the fear that I’ll forget stopped me in my tracks.
When I met with a group of friends, two of them complained of the same symptom of forgetfulness. I felt good to have company in my misery. But as the evening progressed it turned out these two friends use chat gpt daily for simple tasks. I had read about the study that causes the brain to look like it has Alzheimer’s if one uses LLMs regularly. It gets lazy in making basic connections, summarizing, communicating, thinking of solution. The connections are unused. But what is the issue with my brain? Overuse? Interruptions. Incessant interruptions as a parents. But even as the kids don’t interrupt me as much, if I spent time on social media and get caught into reels on instagram (short albeit relevant information or entertainment) my mind acts just as erratic and dysfunctional.
I a am glad I can still write cohesively and I hope I can serve my kids well by setting healthy boundaries so in this vulnerable and formative years they can grow and develop strong skills and a healthy brain.