She tried it on. It’s looks cool. But it’s uncomfortable. She doesn’t complain much. She got teary as she put it on, because it wasn’t set quite right. She complained she can’t breath, that it was too tight on her chest cavity. We let her adjust the straps herself, to whatever she was comfortable. She ended up wearing it all day. No complaints. She even said she doesn’t mind it. But is counting down the days. 2 down, 178 to go.

She is a good sport. She went to show it to her grandparents. We tell her it’s her armor. Our positive attitude may have had a small influence on her acceptance of the corset, but her strong will is put to good use in this instance.

As we went out, for a stroll, she asked me what should she say if kids laugh at her corset. Should she say “it’s not funny”? She concluded that There’s nothing to laugh or stare at. Because this helps her spine. Without any input from the outside world, she seems quite self confident, and at ease with this challenge. She faces it head on and does what needs to be done, day in and day out.

The other day, as I was reasoning with her to do her exercises, and explaining that this effort is not for my own benefit but for her long term wellbeing, she said she doesn’t care. And I sat there, in silence pondering her words. Long term investments make no sense to a 6 year old. She obeys my directions, my recommendation, my pleading, out of sheer trust. And she challenges it all. Which irritates me. But it’s a process, I know.

For me as well. Guiding her as far as I can. But there comes a time when I have to let her choose. And I find this season of corset wearing and gymnastics, a time of practice for me. When I don’t push, she picks up the weight. And parents, out of fear, don’t make room for kids pondering, and decision making.

The repercussions of not following through with the dr recommendations can be catastrophic. But it’s not all or nothing in one day or one decision. It’s a lifestyle of discipline. And that gives us flexibility to allow for her own decisions to come through.

I entrust her life to God yet again. I can only go so far, do so much. Her heart ought to be pursued by God’s love. And from there on, integrity in words and actions, the peace of mind, the fulfillment of life… all come as a gift to something more than I can ever give her. Her own personal relationship with God, her father.