After a stormy week, the murky waters settled.
I had a hard time making decisions, and it’s not about deciding to go or to stay, to buy something or not… The biggest difference I felt was even after making any decision, I wasn’t at peace with it, I wasn’t sure it was the right one.
I have struggled with unresponsiveness, and I worried I overreacted in my emotions, but the reality still stands. And I chose to stay put. I remember as if in a dream, back in the day, I decided that if I’m ever in doubt about acting or saying something, to choose silence and inaction… because of my general tendency to be active.
It’s Monday, the first day of vacation. I couldn’t sleep in, and I didn’t rest either because I have hunted (till 2 AM) and eventually got two mosquitos. Jackie played with neighbors, I drove some friends to the hospital. I got coffee. Cooked a sweet and sour soup. Juiced the rest of the garden apples. And the long awaited event: we went to a party for kids and we gathered for the first time outside DGASPC, with other adoptive moms. The connection was instant. Our kids all played and mingled and we had time to chat. What a delightful evening I’ve had. It’s been a long time since I have felt so energized after nearly three hours at a playground. Not organizing the event and not knowing everyone was a plus. We talked and talked and we could have talked for many more hours.
Our kids are settled and with every day that passes, our hearts fuse together, and we grow stronger, aware of others’ journeys. Community is fuel and fire, strength and energy. Community is untamed, shapeshifting, alive. We accept it as a gift, in diversity and familiarity.
Here’s to another group of strong women, whom I call friends and kindred spirits: These beautiful adoptive moms.
