When we first became parents we were eager. Eager for the whole package.
And we got above and beyond, the perfect kid for us: adventure loving, energetic, inquisitive, challenging and overly-communicative, daring, stubborn, athletic.
As we steeled in, after putting out best selves forward, the reality of day in and day out came to surface. And that is good too… just a little more challenging at times.
As we parent surrounded by many pairs of eyes, under different circumstances, in new contexts, we get stretched. Jackie tests her new limits, we set larger boundaries, we revisit some, we reinforce others. Sometimes she can get annoying. I’m sure we are frustrating for her at times as well. But isn’t this what family is all about?
Are we supposed to like our family members no matter what? Or just to love them no matter what? In earnest I try to look for things I like about my family, and especially my immediate family, more recently my daughter. I use my intuition and my internal clock to guide me often. And while the outside world may not be very different, my way of perceiving it can be vastly changed depending on how well I take care of myself, my mind and my body. And that is what I consider to be fair or unfair to those around… if I could and don’t take good care of myself and those I love suffer the consequences, well then, that’s on me.
I read a quote about foster care or adoption: our job is not to fix anyone; our job is to love. it does indeed take the pressure off. By loving faithfully we may transform those we love, but the end result is not on us.
As it appears that we are on top the world, I want to make myself small. With open hands receive the present, and be still. Be willing to accept it all however it comes, and willing to let it fly away.