A year ago I was watching an emotionally charged video of a young family adopting two little girls. We were just starting in earnest on this journey and we were filled with enthusiasm.
Yesterday, February 28, we had our own version of adoption day. The social worker said that adoptive parents often bring their children to court… but she advises us to keep it simple. Jackie doesn’t need to come to court with us. It is a somber event, somber court room, and nobody is in celebratory mode. Boy, was she right!
There were 6 cases in the same court session. And I realized I had only seen a courtroom in movies until now. We were last on the list, so we got to witness the cases before us. We live in a sad, broken world.
The first three cases were regarding the continuation of the foster care status for a few minors, siblings, ages between 8 and 14. Their social worker / representative in court seemed unprepared, too detached … And everyone mumbled or they were all very soft spoken. A 14 year old girl, with two younger brothers, said, to everyone’s surprise, that she does not agree with staying in the system, but she wants to go back to her mother who lives in a different city, whose address she does not know, whose situation is unknown but they’ve been in touch on Facebook. The judge was patient and kind, and tried to help her process the expressed wish, proposing a postponement of the decision until the address of the mother is found and the mother is cited to come to the hearing and agree to take her child back into custody. The 14 year old stormed out of the courtroom.
Two other siblings were called up and they agreed to maintain their status as foster children. Then right before we were called up, this woman went up and gave away the rights to her twin baby boys. She had two older children and one of them there, in court, a 7 year old girl who was giggling at Conrad making faces at her. The judge asked the lady if she really can’t take care of these other two… but the answer came swiftly, from a contorted face and bowed neck, the woman is also going through a divorce and there isn’t a binding law that obligates the father to support the children.
Conrad looked at me and said: “can’t we adopt the twins?” and “I see us opening our home to older children as we see the little ones into adulthood”. “Let’s get a bigger place!” – I married a dreamer and a philanthropist.
We were called up last. I only had to say yes twice while our lawyer read details about our case. The judge and the other people working seemed to be in a gloom. One lady, kind eyes and white hair, was making eye contact and smiling at me. I was happy and clumsy all at once. My phone was on silent but I bumped it with my belt and siri started saying, in the eerie silent room: “I don’t understating the question…” argh! QI quickly silenced siri and waited… But then it was all over within minutes. I said Yes and next week we’ll receive our papers in the mail.
What a weird experience. A day later m heart is still heavy for those people, those stories. While I rejoice for Jaclyn, for her story intertwined with ours… nature is in sync with my mood. Last day of February was sunny and warm… but on this first day of March, I feel that winter is lingering.