Time is slow. We daydream of “home” with anticipation. We continue to prepare ourselves physically, emotionally and financially, though there are things we wish we could ready ourselves for, but we have no control over.
On a late walk around the neighborhood, as the air cooled down, Conrad and I were talking about a major cultural difference between US and Romania. We narrowed it down to Bay Area and Cluj.
I felt like home in Silicon Valley, because my “everything is possible” attitude was shared and lived by many known and unknown people. There’s not much dwelling on pessimistic views.
At the same time, in Romania they would call it, whatever that is, daily reality check. Our business mindset, self driven, self sufficient and daring attitude is met with suspicion and questions. My unique perspective was reaffirmed through that first Work and Travel summer as a student, and I held onto it. We take into account risks and disappointment, delays and change of plans, and continue to push through (our marriage, our job-career changes even when things are comfortable, our estate purchase, our adoption plans).
On the other hand had I have experienced in Romania a sense of attractive humility, a respect for reality and a resilience of the soul. While in the Valley, paired with the confidence, there is an off-putting sense of entitlement.
We mistake genuine confidence with entitlement. Parents of young children, please hold off on affirming your children’s right to wealth, health, respect, knowledge and everything easy. Except Grace, everything is earned, and it takes time, patience and hard work. And the journey is the destination. We pray and hope that our children will have the courage to stand up for themselves, to provide for themselves, to learn and show kindness, to love and be loved and the ultimate, hard to grasp Facebook state: be liked, yet the people that are so likable, they never really seek it. And no matter what you do, there are people who won’t like you, so get over it (and don’t drag your children into the same vicious cycle).
But why am I laying this out for comparison? We are about to drastically change our environment, and I know we will partly adapt to the new old culture, and partly keep a sense of our identity stubbornly apparent.
We will also raise children, God willing. My parents were and are amazing, and they never let it be obvious. Probably they don’t even know it. And I wonder, after all my self-awareness, self-assesment, outspokenness, how can I reflect and carry on the simplicity of their strength and wisdom?