Jaclyn is more proper than I was at her age. She is more social, and was taught o greet people, and introduce herself and be perfectly pleasant. As she became our daughter, when feeling under the weather (mostly because she met people just as we got out of the car, and she does get car sick) she seemed to rest/feel safe in my arms and not want to say hi to every new person. Her hiding her eyes in my neck, or hiding behind me hugging my leg, was actually sweet and normal. Adults understand the shyness of a 3 year old. As a parent, forcing a child to be more friendly than she feels comfortable, doesn’t help long term. On the contrary I think.
I don’t like to talk to people on command. If someone forced me to befriend strangers, or just go and make small talk at an event, I would tell them “what for”. In a group, sometimes you just click with someone and you forget yourself in conversation, and once in a while, you become good long term friends. But that’s the exception, not the rule.
We went to a 4 year old girl’s party. A sweet, energetic, funny girl. There were 13 kids there, of varying ages. We arrived at the party with Jaclyn’s “older sister” Matilda. The two of them strode in with the gifts to greet the birthday girl. For a split second Jaclyn wanted to run back to me after giving the gift, but Matilda’s mom encouraged her to stay and play with the girls. She just needed to be told it’s ok to stay. I did not go to introduce her to every kid and their parents. Whoever she met and chose to play with was good enough.
The party was held at MiniCity, a labyrinth of miniature life: kitchen, dentist office, hair saloon, news room, lego room, car shop, basketball park etc. and the highlight of the night: the stage with lights and music to dance to and sing along. I went in and sat on the front row and videotaped her and danced along with her, smiling broadly and her rhythm and chill style. She said the stage was her favorite part. There were many kids there, and their parents, but as she danced and pretended to sing, she was my little star and I was there just for her.