Jack-lily is very social. She often asks me to call such and such mom to see if she can play with her kids. She loved our weekend in the mountains because there were kids. She likes to take in her surroundings and pays attention to other’s emotions, just for fun, or invites them to “come, play!”
Her acute desire for friends seems like a weak spot for the loner in me. But I am certain she was created perfectly, with empathy, the desire to make peace, and to make others feel loved. And I need to learn not to project my social self-sufficiency on her.
She loves unconditionally but I think she is more aware than she leads on. Though she asks me about this one little girl and seeks her company, asks her if she wants to be her sister, gently takes her hand, though the girl in question is fickle in her relationships, and lately pushes her tantrum limits.
We don’t approve of calling someone bad. Especially a kid. He or she may be misguided, or misbehaving, but not bad. But my little girl unearthed this appellative. She called the girl whose friendship she still desires, a bad girl. It took me off-guard. But it just occurred to me that at the very beginning she used to call herself a bad girl. Yet yearning, hoping to be corrected. In reality she was just a little challenging on purpose. Bu she would accept wholeheartedly our words of affirmation. She knows full well the cause and effect of bad behavior.
I have learned to independently manage my relationships early on. So I would like to intervene as little as possible. I did share with her my own rule of thumb “you can’t force anyone to be your friend”, and if someone has an unpleasant behavior don’t linger. Let them miss you, if at all, and miss out on all friends if they persist in selfish behavior.