We spent this past weekend in the mountains. It was relaxing. It was educational. It was fun. As a new parent I pay attention, voluntary and involuntary, to other parents and their kids.
There isn’t a standard pattern for parenting, because humans are so different from each other. Wouldn’t it be easy if we could just upload the program for 3 or 6 year old kids, and be all set. Know how to react, how to read and to treat them, how firm or how malleable to be.
As I judged others in my heart, I know how vulnerable I am as well to other’s judgement. No matter how strong our will is, we all profile, and judge, and make mental notes about everything around us. I pray we do it with a kind heart.
Here are my two cents.
Technology is not necessary as a toy. Period. It is addictive and does not bring any value to a kid’s brain development. It is definitely fun. The eye hand coordination might be a gain. But the crankiness (withdrawals symptoms) associated with recurrent use of the iPad is not worth the trouble. (sugar rush—sugar crash; iPad rush—iPad crash.)
I know most parents choose what hills they don’t want to die on. Sometimes they may turn a blind eye, because enforcing consequences, or dealing with tantrums is overwhelming and borderline maddening (especially if limits and consequences are lightly and not consistently enforced).
Today Jaclyn saw the iPad which she hasn’t played with since before Christmas. She said “my iPad!” and daddy corrected her saying “it’s our iPad”. To which she started fussing and whining (new behavior).
I was changing the bed sheets when she came into the room and continued to pout and make frustrated noises. I asked her what’s up (though I had heard the conversation she had with her daddy). I told her that whining in this house will not help her obtain stuff. To which she instantly responded. And the iPad is OURS just like the house is ours, and the car is ours. It was a rude awakening. We did also discuss the things that are exclusively hers.
We have so much fun together and there is no need for technology to fill our time.