And now we wait…

It’s only been 3 days since we got our certificate. Talking about it with my friend Alex over Skype, I realized that these days, most state workers function at half capacity. During summer time everything everywhere in Romania quiets down, the traffic is smooth and light, out of town students are home, and everyone is trying to make the best of summer vacation – creating memories with their own families and kids.

Our sense of urgency and anticipation is not their concern… When it happens it happens.

We’ve talked about baby names since we met, this year we even settled on Edelweiss, a complicated name for the Romanian paperwork. We have many ideas but until we meet her, we can’t make a final decision anyway.

This adoption has been in God’s hands since forever. It has been his doing, his nudging, his heart changing, encouraging, building. And we’ve complied. We actually enjoyed the ride, with optimism and determination. As we take a back seat in waiting for a call, I pray for the child that God has designed to match us with, not a program, not the system.

My heart is tight, thinking “what if we have to wait months, or another year?…” We got good at waiting. But it doesn’t come natural to us.
Waiting is what we’ve been training for, though I am a woman of action.
Impatient. Fretting over new and unexpected roadblocks.

We have no controls over it. It’s frustrating. It’s heavy. What if? When? How?

Lately, as the adoption steps sped up, I have imagined a child around the corner, almost could picture her curls, her dark beautiful skin, deep piercing eyes… I must have dreamt it, not sure how much is my own imagination.

We’ve walked this far. I get this sense that we have not earned anything, and we are not entitled to become parents. It is all a gift.
I only pray that God will find us worthy and ready to receive it.