While I was cooking lunch, Jaclyn put Rufus to bed at noon. She said “Rufus, la culcuș!” He obeyed. She then sang to him “bate vântu’ frunzele”, kissed his head and said “noapte buna Rufus!” Then came out, saying “I just put Rufus to bed!” 😉

I am re-reading the “20-things…” book, this time with Jaclyn specifically in mind. In a couple of years I’m sure I will have yet another perspective over our story and approach. Jaclyn is funny, so lovable, kind, empathetic (very!), smart, and we learned to validate her intentionally and early. I was unsure what to do when she pouted that she didn’t get her way with something. I decided to not let her alienate herself, but I come and hug her still, I tell het I love her as well as why she can, or can not do something.

She longs to be held. She cradles in my lap and says “I’m your baby”. And I rocks her gently and I kiss hear head, feeling the weight of this lovely 3 are old girl. We’ve been told about her subconscious need to recuperate lost time together, her need to be our baby. This was my opportunity to tell her about the woman who held her as a baby but couldn’t care for her as she grew a bit. Then her foster family took great care of her until mommy and daddy were able to meet her and bring her home. And call her daughter.

“…seven affirmations specifically designed for the adopted child:

• I will do my best to connect with you.
• You can count on me.
• You can push, but I will not let you push me away.
• I will care for you and for myself.
• We can both tell the truth and be responsible for our behaviors.
• I support you in learning what you may want to know about your history and heritage.
• You are lovable just the way you are.

As your child gradually learns to live out his wholeness and personal strength, you will be working yourself out of a job. You will have given your wounded bird the gift of his own power.” by Jean Illsley Clarke and Connie Dawson, in their outstanding book, Growing Up Again