The first visit went great. It was a two hour visit of basically friends catching up, as our social worker has been with us from day one of starting this journey. Even Jaclyn said she liked her a lot. She wrote down a lot of things, and we talked about how much Jaclyn has blossomed. And after the SW left it seemed like Jaclyn listened in and soaked up all the compliments.
This morning was rather special, a type of Christmas morning in Romania is Pos Nicolae. The first thing Jaclyn did when she woke up, she went to her chocolate Santa to open it. And then proceeded to eat half of it. During the social worker’s visit Jaclyn kept asking for more chocolate. She pouted and defied us. Then the SW told her if she eats too much chocolate her teeth will go bad. As she loves to brush her teeth, she started asking to go help her brush her teeth. We had to eventually succumb to brushing teeth. Boundaries was part of today’s lesson and visit.
Because we had developed a relationship with this wonderful lady, everything I had pictured regarding the social worker’s during adoption home visits seems to fade away.
We also talked about her mourning her past. The other day I realize I had helped Jaclyn put a name to another emotion. When I first met her, everything was “I like this” or “I don’t like this”. Even car sickness she defined as “I don’y like this”.
Yesterday she asked about “Mariana and Dia” and she was sad. I had somehow, during the last couple of days, dealt with my own heartache for her heartache. So when I took her in my arms and comforted her, I asked “do you miss Mariana and Dia? It is normal to miss them and feel sad.” Today she climbed in my arms and said that she missed Mariana and Dia. And then listed everyone else’s name from that family, and the kids next door. She seems better with every emotion she can catalogue in her mind and heart. It is fascinating to observe her process what is going on.
She declared many times today that this is her home.
She was on the toilet and out if the blue she said again “I’m a very bad girl”. In response “I told her she is a lovely, creative, interesting, kind, wonderful girl”. Then with a grin on her face she replied: “Daaa? BINE!”
Later today she said the same thing so I asked her: “why do you say that?” she sat quietly. Then I asked her: “do you just like me to tell you that you are wonderful and pay you all the other true compliments?” She replied with a small voice “yes”. So I told her to just ask me: “How am I mommy?”. So she did ask: “How am I mommy?”