When is it the right time to start teaching something, explaining or correcting something? If you thought about it, the best time to begin is now (using age appropriate guidance).
The more you put something off, the harder it is to begin later on. As I communicate with my daughter I speak with a normal voice, kind, patient and low, not high-pitched, and big words are trickled in involuntarily. To my surprise, she started using big words in proper context.
Because our lives start together now, I don’t feel like I have wasted any time. We work with what we have and we move forward. Among the things we feel compelled to start teaching already, even though it seems like we are not making a huge progress right away, are: table manners and chewing with your mouth closed, when mommy and daddy talk, touch my arm so I know you have something to say. I will finish my thought with daddy and then give you undivided attention. I am not going to beg you to do something! And I am not going to nag you. So please listen when I speak (let’s all lead by example). We encourage eye contact as we communicate.
I hear myself using my stern voice once in a while, reassuring her that I love her. And to my surprise, she responds very well to that. Much of the rest of our days have a lot of grace in them, exploring, singing, trying a lot of new things. Not all new things are embraced off the bat. She sometimes cries when faced with novelty, or if she is tired. I get down to her level and I invite her to express her feelings. She can’t always tell me what’s wrong. I had the insight yesterday to ask her if she just wants me to hold her. She responded with a definite yes.
To all the parents out there: I am beginning to get a glimpse of how exhausting parenting can be (nap times are a gift of respite for parents), day in and day out. …But I am also getting a glimpse in the joy it fills us with.
No two children are the same, not even in the same family, with similar DNA and the same parents. So I hope we all have the wisdom to not be so hard on ourselves. There are parents who do a marvelous job, the best job they can possibly do in raising their kids, and they feel embarrassed when kids do something improper. I didn’t think I’ll be one of those …but I caught myself being one. Jaclyn was all loving and sweet to this younger boy, until he wanted to grab something from her hand, that was hers. She pushed him away saying: “it’s not yours! It’s mine!” She is physically strong, and she can hold her own if push comes to shove, even with much older kids. We keep reinforcing the idea of sharing, taking turns, kindness … but I’m starting to consolidate my guidance to the bottom line of not hurting others (with words or actions) to get your way.