Sometimes I think my daughter can compartmentalize better than me. She probably can, as she has fewer boxes to sort.
There is this sweet spot of nearly teen, where loyalty and attraction and simplicity meet. Of all the people who expressed an interest in her, she likes only one, in a very nonchalant, relaxed way. I have asked her if she likes the idea of him as a special friend, or she actually likes him. After enough consideration on multiple occasions, she said she likes him. I ask her all the question to help her confront her bias, her curiosity, interest, and they keep going strong, in conversations that reveal their hearts and forge a closer and intriguing bond.
She is young, but she is so transparent and inocent that her including me in her thought process is her ticket to my support. I wonder if my support would be conditional to her transparency, but it sure helps. I would want to set the stage for her to come to me. I have done this intentionally and I wonder if this is the ripe fruit of connection.