We can do hard things propelled by motivation. Sometimes we assume our motivation is shared by all. But that is definitely not true. Take for example a job. Some prefer a high paying job that comes with a lot of stress. Others prefer flexibility at a lower pay. Some want routine, security, steady income and schedule, others thrive in chaos, days that bring novelty with each sunrise, new people, new adventures, new responsibilities or projects.
Some are not motivated by anything. At all. They haven’t discovered that cold of joy for overcoming discomfort, conquering pain (think of athletes) or seeing through a project to completion.
I’ve been thinking about work. And what keeps the gen x or millennials in a job. And what motivates the young generation. How addicted is each generation to comfort and how unique is everyone’s motivation. Can we even talk about a generational attitude to doing what needs to be done vs. doing what we like or what makes us feel good?
I have been thinking about this promotion I accepted when I become a mother. Less pay, more responsibility but also incredible satisfaction and long term vision and investment.
It is countercultural, and one can argue that the maternal clock that blonds some to enter the fathering and mothering stage in life is a trap. A trick of nature to continue to propagate life on earth. But I keep thinking that this was not my motivation. Since I was a kid I would tackle the path less traveled, the road with more obstacles, just for the experience. I wanted to learn. I wanted to continue to develop myself. As an adult, having had a variety of profesional experiences, and jobs that paid with money and training, I reached a point where I wanted to grow my skillets in the role of a parent. I loved the complexity I noticed in leaders I admired, how these we were parents were more flexible, wise, kind, patient, creative, inspiring, trustworthy, complex in their approach and humble. There is something that parenting polishes in the intelect and the emotional intelligence of those we dare to become parents. I wanted that. And I was wiling to pay the price. And it paid off in spades. It enriched my thinking and it broke me and it stretched me in ways I didn’t think I could stand.
Before kids I kept my thoughts to myself as I didn’t have enough experience of offer my two cents. Now I know enough to not say anything because my two cents are not needed. I do reflect a lot on parenting and I write my thoughts down, but I don’t offer unsolicited advice.
I have had a very demanding job this last decade. Growing my skills set, multitasking, communicating effectively with young and old, tutoring and navigating the bureaucracy. I did not stagnate and that was and is rewarding to me. My kids attached, adapted, healed and thrived. And I do feel that I am working myself out of the job – as it should be.
This promotion was everything I had hoped it would be – it challenged me and it helped me grow. Humbled me and rewarded me with abundant grace and love and understanding.