“But I waaaaant (to do) this! (thing you already told me “no” to:)”
She responds positively to smooth talking, even after a firm response, if I soften her down with an encouragement, or a joke.
Jackie is positively defiant. It may backfire, but there are times when I tell her: “to other people you may say no to, but right now you ought to comply with my request”. Is it a double standard? Probably. But at least it is consistent… and it will always be.
Big words and what “consequence” means. We provide her with ample opportunities to learn big words in contexts. The other day she said: “I’m telling you, if you don’t listen, “x” will happen. Treaba ta!”
Once we negotiate to apparently no end, I tell her what will happen, and then give her the freedom to choose. It makes her stop and ponder seriously the consequences of her action. Often she still does what she set her mind to, despite the nature’s consequences (jump off a 4th step, eat something hot, take a huge bite of ice-cream). Occasionally she trusts my advice.
I call it water resistance. Water can knock you off your feet, can keep you afloat, or refresh you, but it also lets you pass/fall through, and it forces to find that inner balance.