Scrambling up – in my dream

I’m near the top of the mountain. It’s rocky. The type of rocks I love, warm grey, with greenery in its crevasses. 

Jackie is ahead of me. I sustain her weight at times, pushing her up with my head. Conrad is nearby too. I hear his muffled encouragement.

The wind is howling. We’re near the top. So close. But my muscles are tired, exhausted. They hurt. I fear I’m going to fall. I’m the last one on the face of the mountain. I grip the grass holding tight and then I think I’ll let go. I picture what would happen. I would fall to my death. And I will never see my youngest if I let go. Then my grip tightens and I push one more time. Two more steps…

And I’m up. I made it! And it is surreal.

It’s beyond my wildest dreams… 

This actually happened. Such a familiar climb. A reverie. 

I was 20 years old. With a group of young people from PBCC, we drove to Yosemite after work on a Friday evening and climbed Half Dome on a full moon. We reached the base of the peak right before sunrise. So we climbed with extremely tired arms and legs, holding on to the ropes. I envisioned what would happen if I let go. Because I couldn’t feel my arms anymore, I prayed as I climbed that God would give me strength to not fall to my death.

But then, as we reached the top, we saw a gorgeous sunrise over the Yosemite National Park. Surreal indeed. Pictures don’t do it justice.

In the morning of my dream I was blessed by two Psalms.
The first one, I opened up to it in my well worn Bible – Psalm 73:1

Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.

And then Psalm 46…

God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields[d] with fire.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”
The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.