In my quest to clear my daily schedule, my mind, my life, I have marked many good programs for termination. I am too emotionally spent to distinguish between them. But I hope I can restart some, if they seem to have been kept on the safe column. I’m not too worried though. I feel that even if I reset everything, that would be ok. A fresh start.
It is better to distinguish between the negotiable relationships and the nonnegotiable ones. Like family versus everything else.
A few weeks ago I put iris momco on the list to strike. I was not sure I made any difference and I joined with the intention to get the group started, not to lead or be involved indefinitely. Then we had the momco leadership meeting when I presented the theme. I used my gifts and did something I liked. No false modesty and no pressure. I left that meeting encouraged and so grateful for the friends and the friendships we seem to slowly and steadily grow. And it feels like home. Four leaders from iris came. We sat at the same table. Their commitment encouraged me. Maybe they do care.
When we met to discuss the year ahead I asked them to search deep within and think about WHY they want to serve in this way. “why do we organize momco at iris?” If the motivation is unclear or weak or unfounded, we won’t last and we may hurt others and ourselves in the process. I do not want to serve out of guilt or obligation. Also, if the moms in the church don’t find value in the meetings, what’s the point?
We shared our honest feedback, about how most of us have older kids and buy lives in different stages. The draw to come together in large groups is less. Another mom said she feels she is not fully invested, like she has one leg outside, and so do the rest of us. She longs to be in it wholeheartedly. We hold back sometimes. Or do we? Are we still tested the waters? Is our vulnerability safe, welcomed. Have we created such a setting where people can open up? We can open up? Are we at least making progress? Are the moms encouraged by these meetings?
We even questioned if we should meet the following week. The room was reserved but we haven’t announced it yet. How tempting to cancel. One mom said it’s the only Saturday morning she has available in the next two months. We should proceed as we planned. We quickly agreed and hashed out the schedule.
And it came together beautifully! The perfect amount of planning. Less planning, more self sufficient initiatives. Like there was significant self confidence in our own gifts and owned them and put them forth, without waiting for others to confirm or affirm every detail and decision.
The meeting was the best we’ve ever had! The flow, the atmosphere, the decor, the conversations, the prayer and singing, the gifts the moms prepared, the message, the openness and timeliness in the end. It’s hard to capture into words. Each person experienced it in their own way but it was a gift we did not anticipate. And when I think we nearly postponed the meeting …what a temptation that was. A loss for us and for every mom that came. 20 souls around a large set of tables. We look at the blessing from the perspective of almost declining the grace. Thank God for his grace to keep us going for one more blessing to be encouraged by it and to offer us perspective.