When I met Brian, he asked me about my story
I was embarrassed because I had nothing interesting to say
No drama. I thought I had watched too much TV as a kid.
I thought of the church leader hosting Jesus for a meal
And the woman who barged in
and washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair
When Jesus asked him about the two debtors
One who owed a lot and one who owed a little.
He asked which of them will love more
The one who was forgiven a lot or a little.
The one who was forgiven a lot would have a love directly proportional with his debt.
On the other hand, Jesus says we should be like children.
That I am. My faith is childlike. Preserved overtime.
I begged God to never let the foolish adult wait blind me from seeing Him in his splendor.
In a season of complet abandonment into His love and acceptance
I asked God to do whatever he deems necessary to keep me close to him.
I stand by that prayer.
In my 40s and I started to love tis life and be afraid to lose it,
The anxiety becoming palpable
I had this epiphany
I remembered that childlike faith.
And telling God I will follow him wherever he calls
And he may do with my life as He pleases
After a few years of feeling heavy hearted
I felt light again
Completely light like I could ascend to heaven and be at peace
But be willing to stay and do whatever needs to be done.
I did not have a dramatic discovery of God.
I was born in a simple family who loved and obeyed God
Who spoke the truth and embraced humility with grace
We went to church regularly and in my preteen years I drew close to God.
And he drew me close in the sweetest embrace.
I can do hard things. I have lived though some challenging times,
But they never felt traumatic
Because God was near, I felt Him.
I saw my mom pray fervently in the guest room
And I walked slowly back as to not disturb her. She was whisper praying.
That image stuck with me.
My mother covered me with prayers.
And I escaped danger last minute many times.
I have a naive stubborn faith.
Life opens up in front of us unexpectedly
When I traveled alone outside the country by myself
It felt familiar as if I had done it before. I was not nervous.
When I met my husband. When I said yes to his proposal
Moving across the world not relying on his provision
But on God the father, omnipresent and loving and reliable.
Only when I started expecting others
I was disappointed.
But never disappointed by God even when he was silent.
His silence never felt punishing but gentle.
I am in my 40s, and I naively and wholeheartedly love God
With passion and abandonment
With compete trust with faith that moved mountains.
I have been asked for forgiveness for shortcomings from my parents
For things I don’t even think they needed to apologize anymore
And I have asked for forgiveness from my children
it frees others from trying to make you see their point of view.
You’ve hurt them? Once you acknowledge it and deal with it, it hold no power over you pr them anymore.
My kids have had a dramatic start in life
I had been honest about it with them – and it brought imense freedom for all of us.
Truth sets you free.