I had to return something to decathlon and Jackie needed some new shoes. Sandals we thought. At decathlon they didn’t bring sandals in stock yet so she tried some profesional soccer shoes, with crampons, the kind she would wear only on the field of grass. She is not a professional player. She likes the idea of European football. And she likes the exercise.

I nixed the decision. She didn’t fight me on it. But she was very disappointed we didn’t buy anything for her. Shopping therapy fail. So in the car, as we were taking, I may have used a diminutive cute word. I do it out of frustration to be honest. It’s my way of letting off steam, the way Conrad uses sarcasm to relax.

Anyway, as we stopped at Auchan she told me she feels her anger rise to the point of making her scream when she hears me talk with diminutives. I thanked her for telling me and tons her I will try very hard to abstain to talk like that. But her words stung.
At her age I started noticing my families idiosyncrasies, and they also made me scream, but I didn’t feel it was my place to correct them. I thought something was wrong with me. I cried in the bathroom that hid would give me patience with my family. They all annoyed me to no end, the sighing, the chewing with their mouth open, the crunching candy. Every one of them. God answered my prayer. I rose above it. I learned to ignore and not be bothered.

I appreciate her eloquence in saying something, she actually asked if she needs therapy because she is beyond irritated with me sometimes. I told her I am annoyed by people sometimes, including them, including Conrad. And we learn to communicate and we learn to get over things that can’t be changed. Imagine being annoyed with someone’s voice. What can they do? Stop talking altogether? Or someone who constantly clears their throat due to acid reflux or allergies. Conrad sneezes loudly when he is allergic to something, he used to wake me up with his sneezing attacks.

We can communicate respectfully, we can listen and make an effort, and the bottom line is that none of us is perfect. My little family annoys me least tbh.