Among the sweetest memories: this morning daddy was making coffee, and I was pasteurizing the milk, Jaclyn came in the kitchen and hugged tightly one leg of mine and one of her daddy’s and said “I love you so much!” (In english) Then: “I’ll sit here with you while you make coffee!”
I get this feeling that we are settling in, getting more comfortable, understanding and enjoying each other verbally and nonverbally (din priviri).
Motherhood has been put into words with grace, poise, integrity and delightful eloquence though the aforementioned book. And it feeds my soul. It speaks to me and it brings me to tears of joy.
Jaclyn makes me laugh every day. Even on the hard days. Sometime I laugh at the hardship itself. I can’t remember what was hard, I just remember it was. But her funny face, witty words, humor are ever developing and catching us by surprise.
Before I began the day today I asked God for wisdom, strength and patience. These three seem essential to me these days.
Jaclyn is an exceptional detective. And the longer we parent her, the more apparent it becomes that honesty is paramount. We adapt. She adapts. Trying to pretend that I’m more than I am, is not doing me or her any good. We all strive to love and serve and be patient. Be fair, and clear, and true. I have uttered – in different contexts – these words to my daughter, especially when she was trying to push her limits, and mine. With a calm voice, calm to eerie demeanor: “I’m spent. It is the last time I’m asking you this.” “I am sorry, but I can’t give you want you are asking. I wish I could, but I can’t.”
Explaining to her over and over why we need to sleep at night, or why we can’t go to school at night, or to the city, or to the playground, or to visit friends at night. Or when we have to get out of the pool. I don’t know when this shift happened, but instead of getting frazzled, I get this inner peace as I explain to her one last time “why”. And she obeys. And we have had a few delightful days of cooperation and laughter and ease throughout.
As I write this, I realize things might change as we go to the next level, begin a new chapter, as soon as she gets out of bed from her day nap. In the meantime, I ought to rejoice and be grateful for the gift of this week.
