Jackie was having a hard time breathing. We stayed at home these days. She didn’t do any extraneous activities. The air has been particularly bad this winter. Overly warm. No rain. No wind. The smog lingered. Gave Conrad a hard time with his allergies. So he stayed home more. I ran errands. Jackie finished school two weeks ago. We didn’t go anywhere outside the city. 

She had stuffy nose for a few days. But it went away. She sneezes randomly but it usually seem as a good clearing experience. 

Anyway, Friday she sounded worse. And had a hard time breathing without coughing. We tried to help her rest, get hydrated, but the wheezing got worse. 

During these two days I’ve been taking Conrad to the hospital for tests and evaluations. Saturday morning I was feeling discouraged because it felt like it never ends, from taking care of Conrad to taking care of Jackie. He stepped up and took her to the ER. He stayed with her for four hours and they did tests, got an IV, inhaled medicine. She was nervous. But everyone was so nice. So helpful. Clear and kind. Conrad communicated abundantly. It turned out I have to check into a hospital with Jackie. I packed some stuff and met Conrad at the hôpital. He took the car and went home to ivy and I rode in the ambulance with Jackie from the ER to the pediatric hospital to get checked in. 

Once Jackie relaxed and her inflamed lungs 🫁 will heal a bit and do their job properly get oxygen level will go up to normal levels. She had an asthma like attack, that was not going away. Scary for her. Scary for me. As I put her to bed, she was breathing softly and slowly, I was praying she won’t suffocate in her sleep. Morbid thoughts. I know. But I guess they move one to the core to pray ardently. 

We are spending the night together on this beautiful hospital bed. May we get some sleep. May Jackie get well soon. May we learn from this existence. I don’t know what but I know it’s not in vain.