It has been a stressful week. After coming back from Seattle we jumped right into the business of life. On top of colleagues calling out sick, launch mode still on, meetings to attends or host, Wanderlust business setup and stretching out of our comfort zone, finances to figure out, car to sell, crap to buy… Here is my dilemma. Favors. Mostly pay it forward favors.
I have been in a position to carry stuff back and forth, to and from Romania for the last 9 years. And most of the time it has been just fine. As we agreed to doing it, we always found a way, even though at times it was a stretch. We have been helped by others in the same way and are tremendously grateful for it, as we know full well what it entails. But this time we are weighing every shirt, every cable, every personal item or memento, as we rule it in or out of our moving to Europe luggage. Imagine packing everything you have into two suitcases. Everything! We haven’t gone shopping in a few months, as the idea of packing it, whatever that might be, is daunting. That being said, I caught myself promising to bring over stuff for people. And a promise once made I willingly carry it to fruition. But yesterday I caught myself grumbling about it. So what is it? I stop to analyze it coldly: is it a matter of inconvenience, or am I rightfully entitled to say no without feeling guilty? Where do I draw the line?
Rhetorically speaking: Why do people do favors? Is it to upkeep the karma? Or to get favors in return? Is it because it’s easy for the one doing the favor? Are we balancing the value for effort? Is gratefulness expected?
I don’t believe in purposeful favors. A hand doesn’t wash the other consciously. It kind of happens. And if you ever did a favor to someone expecting an equal response, you are bound to be disappointed.
When you have, give. When you are in need, ask. I have no other wisdom to share, but just hope to gracefully let go of the stress incurred by our move, and live in the present.