“Nobody can force you to do what you don’t want to do” to quote a young girl, brought up by traveled, wise parents. And “dignity above all”.
Her name is Anna Andronache
born in Ireland, now living in România, challenging the system. She appears to value logic and strong arguments. Adults (Romanian teachers) don’t like to have to justify themselves or their actions. (I remember putting myself in milder yet similar situations wth my teachers. I think I have reaped much use from the opposition encountered and dealt with in my youth.) The courage and exuberance of youth is to be shaped and tested when the fire burns hot and young, not when we get bogged down by disappointment, disillusions, fear.
I find this motto wise and healthy. “nobody can force you to do what you don’t want to do.” Jaclyn’s dentist seems to believe the same. Because at our last visit we had a meltdown, pleading, getting off and back on the chair many times, just to go home having accomplished nothing, except filing my bucket with nerves and frustration.
I am so curious how other parents dealt with uncooperative children at the dentist. My personal example doesn’t help. Despite pain, I sat there mouth gaped at the age of 3, and let the doctor do her magic. Despite pain. Someone helped me understand early on that dealing with a little pain now will save me a lot of pain later. I remember doctors saying to my parents that I am a very brave little girl. So given my experience, I don’t know how to get through to Jaclyn. I was so angry when we left the dentist. I was hot and sweaty. (I even sat on the dentist chair, comforting her… it didn’t help). It was Friday afternoon, with the worst traffic across town, which we had to navigate both ways, in order to accomplish nothing. Jackie wouldn’t want to open her mouth. Not even to have the doctor take a look. After promising that she’ll open her mouth, she would climb back on the chair and declare: “I won’t cry!” as she would start to wail.
“Nobody can force you to do what you don’t want to do” – but when the doctor needs to cut in order to heal you, do you let him? Willingly?
We took turns to speak encouraging words, to reassure her, to promise her no pain this time (she would have just cleaned a little one to give her a better experience this time). What got me angry was her smile as the doctor let the chair down. “I don’t have to have my tooth fixed?” as if wailing long enough would make for a valid escape from an unpleasant experience.
We may opt to put her under to take care of it all of them at once.
Choosing our battles.
I think she wants to cooperate but fear gets the best of her.
Oh, how we build history together. All our fights knit us closer and stronger together. It can not all be in vain.