Conrad and I were gone on a hike. As we always were during the free time. The girls are confidently independent. We slowly but surely built towards this independence, for our sanity and their development.
Ivy followed Heather & Noemi up to their crowded room. 6 girls per room. As they were busy getting something, ivy found Heather’s unattended jeans on the floor. She grabbed them, put them on over her actual pants and made a run for it. I asked her later what went through her mind. She just saw the opportunity and took it. And literally ran with it.
Heather ran after her, finding the humor in it, shouting “give me back my trousers!”. This only motivated ivy to run faster. All the way down the hall, down the stairs and out of the building. The ruckus made the other kids run after her as well. They thought it was a game.
But ivy is fast. And she wouldn’t stop mid-game just because. She only got more motivated to run faster and father. It was hilarious because she had to hold the pants up.
Vladimir caught her on the field but she struggled and kicked him in the private parts. Other boys got involved and then things turned sour a bit, though not by much. Heather said she realized she lost all her power and authority in front of a kid. And that shocked her. I agree. When you easily command powerful men in a men’s world, it is very humbling to realize that a kid can play you like a fiddle. And I am so proud of Heather for re-setting boundaries and letting ivy know she crossed the line.
I found ivy sad in our room in the lodge. And I couldn’t get out of her what happened at first. Eventually she told me. Sh actually asked me why is it so hard for kids to accept correction from other adults. She was embarrassed she crossed the line and didn’t realize until it was too late. She was sad to have brought heather to the point of correcting her because she loved heather and didn’t want to strain their relationship. Sometimes when kids bring out the serious side in an adults they are afraid there is no turning back. The damage is permanent. This is why I think correction is done best in relationships where love is shared. I have thought of correcting a kid who is not my own but I get deep in my heart that he wouldn’t hear me if we dint have a base of trust and love pre-built.
Nobody wants to be burdened with correction out of the blue, even if it would be the best thing for them long term. I am a strong believer in connection before correction – but connection takes time. Conrad can impart correction easy but I don’t think it’s lasting if the ground it falls on is not receptive. It’s hardened or thorny or other thoughts pick it like birds from the side of the road.