The job of parents is to frustrate their kids. Giving them everything before they even know they need it is a recipe for disaster. 

I really didn’t like to be told what to do. With a passion. So I started anticipating my responsibilities as a kid. Just be a step ahead. Of course there is room for pushback and negotiation, and parents ought to stay attuned. 

Can we comfortable frustrate our kids? Do it kindly and wisely. Patiently. 

We ask them to do their chores, their homework, go to bed at a decent hour, wake up early to go school, take baths, brush teeth, pick up toys. 

Jackie said she loves it when I tell her what to do. It boggles my mind. It’s the opposite of what I like. I resent having to repeat myself. But as she said she loves to hear me nag, I realize we have different aspirations from life. I keep hoping to graduate to independence but she camped out in the field of waiting for me to tell her what to do. Different expectations. 

“What’s the plan for today?” is a question that rattled my head, on the first day of vacation. “Free play time” I said. Enjoy getting bored, read, play, draw, walk the dog. Not having a plan for the girls. frustrated them still. But the real life is actually self driven.