I asked a few friends if it’s harder or easier to have a second child. All of them said it’s definitely harder for a while. But that shouldn’t deter someone to have more kids.
At home, both my girls snuggle more, and want my attention and company. But when they are asked who plays more with them, they both respond: Daddy. Which is wonderful and true. It occurs to me that one of Daddy’s love languages is quality time and he takes special care to
the time quality and fun. And that’s what they remember. But they love my nurturing. And I love to nurture them. It’s like the basic sustenance dose one gets daily. You don’t remember the daily nourishing food that mommy makes which helps you grow strong. But you remember the fancy dinner daddy prepares occasionally.
Though I like to use words of encouragement and affirmation, I don’t like to be on the receiving end of it too much. Honestly. I want to practice a grateful attitude and have a grateful heart and let words flow from that place.
I am genuinely happy when my girls notice the things I do for them and they thank me for it. But I am happier if I see that they are genuinely grateful, because it seems to be a better investment long term.
After sliding into the nagging type of communication, I sat my girls down last night and we had a short conversation, owning my shortcoming. I tried no not justify my nagging but I said it plainly that I want my girls to listen. Listen well. That’s a parent’s dream. And I asked them what they need or want from us. Jackie said to always speak kindly to them and give them an extra chance to hear me. We’ll see how it goes. But my heart’s desire is to bring back the normalcy of consistent peacefulness and joy, while out and about and at bed time.