Anger as a gift

I did not get angry before becoming a mom. I felt angry but I didn’t give in to this feeling. It wasn’t necessary. There was no place or use for it. I was never wronged in such a way to cause me to call out my anger and use it as a shield. 

On the other hand, the well justified anger of my mom, often saved me from my own selfishness and wallowing in self pity. 

Imagine how many time my teenage self would see the world through a limited perspective and would blame others for my feelings. I could easily be sad, frustrated. I could compare myself to others and want more and still be dissatisfied when I got it. Maybe even more hopeless when I realized the empty place in my heart would only get bigger as I tried to fill it with all the wrong things. 

Then I would say or do something that enraged my mom. Suddenly the focus would shift. I would instantly forget about myself. It saved me from my own self pity and selfishness. 

Gentle parenting cuddles sin, pets the nasty greed, affirms and approves all the crazy selfish behavior. When a pinch of holy anger could say a clear stop to annoying altitudes and trains of thoughts that lead to death. 

Mothers, God gives us a gift of holy anger to unleash motivated by love, fear or loss, motivated by discomfort while we give a milion chances. Don’t waste your holy anger by turning it inwards. 

I cried many hours in despair, feeling my anger eating from the inside. Injustice, disobedience, abuse of my poor nerves, kids are selfish and self serving, and it helps them survive.

But when we set limits and trace them with clarity and anger, and we are honest with ourselves and others… well then there might just be hope for us all.