I don’t know when kids learn about gratitude, but I am determined to help Jaclyn understand it, even if it’s ahead of her age.
Words can not describe my disappointment in her bad attitude after getting a busload of gift this Christmas. It was not my intention to shower her with gifts, nor to overwhelm her. I know she loves gifts, and receiving useful and memorable things is one thing. But she really enjoyed the opening of boxes and wrapped things and she kept asking to open more and more and more gift. I had to tell her repeatedly that there are no more. And then she was pouty because she didn’t have the same one specific gift as the boys. So we had a heart to heart talk.
I asked her what is her favorite gift. None! was the first angry answer. You didn’t like the watch? The pasta set? …the necklace? the dinosaur, the candy… Yes was the reluctant soft reply.
Today we came back from the ocean. It was a grand day. It was a perfect day. She was wonderful energetic and well behaved, adventurous funny. As we got home and she slept in the car on the way back, I even waited with her in the driveway to finish her nap, when we got into the house she wanted to finish watching the minions movie. We agreed. But as we tried to start it we realized the internet wasn’t working. So we told her we’ll finish later. Oh! The drama! The loud whining. The crocodile tears. So I stopped what I was doing and we had a heart to heart talk.
I ask her what was her favorite part of the day. Nothing! Was her first grumpy answer.
So I asked her: you didn’t like to play in the sand? You didn’t like the m&m? You didn’t like the ice-cream? Yes I did, was the yet again reluctant soft reply.
We often talk about how whining is never a way to negotiate stuff. Not in our family. Though she may see other kids try it. Unnecessary whiny noise in not a pleasant sound. Adult don’t like it. We are happy to shower her with gift, to give her what is good for her. Give her out time and our attention. But when we say “not right now” she needs to learn to also accept it with serenity.
Her grateful attitude is my reward. That’s what I told her today. She hugged me tightly and wiped her tears. I wonder if we expect too much of her, treating her with responsibility and respect, expecting mutuality. But I figure it’s never too early to start.