Waking up to a quiet house,
Every room full, but still asleep.
I step slowly into the sun drenched kitchen,
And I make coffee.
Legs stretched on the kitchen day bed
I sip the coffee and look towards the cypress trees shivering with joy
Birds singing, bees dancing.
This must be heaven.
Women on a retreat
Happy. Radiating.
This lineup in Provence
could stir up a tinge of envy
But our stories are beautifully complex
One of us widowed in her 20
Loosing her husband to a terrible disease
through a painful season of suffering
Serving tirelessly
and strengthening her faith.
Another one’s husband diagnosed with cancer twice in his 20s and 30s
Burdened with infertility
Another one nearly losing her husband to a terrible fall
and her being diagnosed with cancer
Another one nearly crushed by burnout
Twice. Struggling with loneliness.
We journey the desert with purpose.
All accomplished, successful, hardworking
and in charge of their own life.
All loving God with passion
and faith that moves mountains
All redeemed.
The widow remarried
The childless adopting
The sick one in remission
The lonely hosting heaven through company
I have never felt entitled to such company
How can I belong to this group of saints?
With incredible humor and ease and generosity
The warm light drapes over the full table
Tomatoes layered with cheese
Eggs and avocado, yogurt and chia and local fruit
Sangria and ice cream
We have three young ladies with us
who learn the dance of kitchen preparations
and cleanup where life happens
They are still kids but able and willing to step up and rejoice
in what cooking and savoring and cleaning after us is all about.