The new obsession among the cool girls in Jackie’s class, who makes it sound like everyone has the latest iPhone, except her.
This is a 6000 lei phone. An absurd amount, even for people with jobs. Why do preteen think they are entitled to this. So far nothing made Jackie feel like an outsider. Not fashion, not makeup. She had been part of conversations e found boring. She is interesting enough, artistic, smart enough, traveled enough… but our biggest challenge in 5th grade is not math or grades, but iPhone 16 ProMax. Yesterday she counted all her piggy bank money. She has a goodly amount of 1600 lei, but not nearly enough for the latest iPhone.
There were tears last night, chocked up responses, frustration, “you are not helpful at all!” shouted through tears. Two days ago I picked her up 5 minutes late, and 3 colleagues were huddled over a phone, and she was standoffish. I bet she felt excluded on the account of not having the newest iPhone. I bet it’s painful and confusing and difficult. But let’s imagine for a second that she goes to school with the newest iPhone. She would make a few colleagues jealous but that would not be a ticket to be included. She would just realize how little the iPhone matters. And the rejection might feel even more personal.
I know this is just the beginning. I bet we will have other disagreements. There will be parties, and friends and boyfriends, excursions and money requests. And this first disagreement is painful for us too, but worth having.
Jackie has been hardworking this year, taking good grades, taking 1st place in the clarinet competition, going to church with us, being respectful and helpful, finally getting on board with making her bed every morning, being a good sister… She isn’t worried about anything else for herself. Life is and should be a good ride. All needs met, a loving home, adventure and opportunities to explore the world and her surroundings… and yet, this is the biggest hurdle of the moment: the iPhone 16 Pro Max.
A few years back she also nagged us about getting her a puppy of her own. A husky. For a long time. I was tired of the same request. We have a dog who loves her. And I don’t want to take on another responsibility right now. The vet trips, the training, and integrating him into our daily routine including leaving him with my parents if we travel for a few days at a time.
I’m glad that school work is not dumped on me anymore. Not this season at least. Not from Jackie. Ivy needs plenty help at this stage.
I’m trying to understand and maybe I try too hard. It’s a phase. We empathized and we rationalized but her accepting the reality is her work to do, not mine. Mine is to stay put.