2016 unfiltered

Prepare yourself to hear me less filtered.

“You don’t have to listen.
Take it or don’t take it personally. That’s not my concern.
It’s not going to be easy.
It’s not going to be pretty.
I am just recovering from worrying too much
about everyone else’s feelings,
at the expense of my own.
Plus, I don’t feel particularly patient or nice these days.
But I see and feel the world with painful clarity.”

A day later I got to rest.

After a very full month, I am enjoying some time alone in the house, with a book in front of the fire. This feels so good!
I have been on edge, irritable. Trying to keep it together and keep up.
Now I feel that I can breath and think in my own rhythm.

(there is a context to this one… and more to it)
…Today I learn to let go.
Let go of guilt.
The fear of disappointing people I love.
I am so certain of your love that
I know you love me still,
Not despite of not showing up,
But because of taking care of myself.

You are part of my story.
And today I got to stay silent
In the presence of my wonderful Father,
Creator, Friend,
In front of the fireplace
Breathing in deeply.
One on one,
Speaking, listening.

Today I rested.
Today I let go.